Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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