Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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