dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
