I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
