I want to stick my p in your. b.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
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Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
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I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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