There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
FUCK WHALES
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