Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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