very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.