yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober