Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dating After Heartbreak
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?