I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
