Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
