real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
