My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
