I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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