It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I need a burrito and a hug.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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