Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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