Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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