I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
