Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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