I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
