the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
