It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
