Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
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so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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