Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
