Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
