I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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