So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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