i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize