There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize