5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I see more hoeing in ur future
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
