I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
