They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
