Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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