Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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