should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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