dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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