Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
