so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
