i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
