I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
