new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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