Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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