Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
