pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
