you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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