I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize