They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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