Life is so much better after having sex.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
