I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
