I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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