if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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