I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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