dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
