we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I currently don't understand fingers.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
