Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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