The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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